This weekend, three of my very dearest friends are coming out to the desert from Texas. What makes them some of my dearest friends? They KNOW me. Really know me. They listen well. They care. They empathize. And they pray for me.
Just as importantly, we have FUN! So much fun! We do life together. We celebrate together. We sometimes laugh until we cry! Few experiences in life are as satisfying as time spent with a close friend. (Especially when you get to spend time together after you’ve moved half way across the country!)
Best friends are simply a God thing. Even more so when that bestie is your husband! If Tom were not my best friend, this past year would have been a painful and lonely one after relocating to California. I’m so glad we worked on our friendship BEFORE this potentially difficult year arrived. It’s our friendship that has sustained me and encouraged me month after month. Just like my dearest gal pals, Tom knows me, cares, listens, empathizes and prays for me. He knows my deepest fears and insecurities, and he works to build me up and encourage me. And I do those very same things for him!
A life-long commitment is a treasured gift. One way to make that gift more than a commitment but the kind of marriage God intended for you is to work on being a friend to your husband. Be that person who encourages him in his moments of weakness and cheers him on in victory. The one who laughs with him, shares his dreams and makes him feel loved.
5 Ways to Strengthen Friendship in Your Marriage
1. Plan times to just have fun together.
Make sure to spend time doing something you enjoy together every single weekend. Even if it’s only for an hour or so! Take a hike. Dine at your favorite restaurant or go to the movies. Attend a concert or go on a bike ride. The list could go on and on! What’s important is to find the things you enjoy together. If you don’t have many common interests and can’t decide what that would be, then take a baby step. Go on a walk and talk about what you could do together as a couple. A project in the house? A picnic in the park? Find out what would interest him and join him there.
2. Communicate daily.
It’s so easy to get in the routine of having dinner in front of the television. And really, that’s fine, occasionally. But if it becomes a nightly habit, nip it in the bud. Spend time chatting about your day, the kids or the upcoming weekend. Really LISTEN to him. That will encourage him to share his feelings.
3. Give him grace.
One of the things I love most about my husband is that, from the beginning, he has always extended grace when I mess up. Even when I mess up BIG! His example has taught me a lot about being a “grace extender.” And this has been a huge factor in our friendship. Friends know they will disappoint and make mistakes. Friends are grace extending and forgiving. Offering these things to your husband strengthens your friendship.
4. Get physical.
This goes way beyond the obvious, though that is important, too! But beyond sexual intimacy, make sure to demonstrate affection to your husband. Hold hands. Hug. Kiss him goodbye when he leaves for work. Showing affection is a sure way to make your husband feel loved!
5. Pray for him and with him.
When you know he faces a challenging day at work, pray for him throughout the day. You may need to put a note on your desk or your kitchen counter as a reminder, and that’s fine! God will surely bless your friendship with your husband if you pray for him each day. It takes the focus off yourself and onto your mate. Praying together is equally important in strengthening your marital friendship. Pray together often. And never underestimate the power of prayer in your marriage!
One sure way to be a better friend to your husband is to know and act on his love languages. Understanding his love languages is vital to your friendship. If you haven’t read Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages, this is a great place to start!
How do you strengthen friendship in your marriage? Please share! Let’s encourage one another.
xoxo,
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It is easy to take our spouse for granted and notice their faults or weaknesses. One time I had a dream that my husband fell in love with a woman he worked with at the time. I was so relieved when I woke up to see him lying by my side, true to me as ever. Whenever I notice myself taking him for granted (not giving him focused attention, complimenting or thanking him, asking his opinion—essentially not giving him the courtesy I always give others), I close my eyes and play out a scene where he comes home and says he has fallen in love with someone else. It puts me in touch very fast with my deepest feelings for him and reminds me to protect what I have. This probably sounds silly but it works for me.
Thanks for this post Andrea. It serves as a great reminder about the most important relationship in our lives that can often be relegated to the bottom of our priority list!
Thank you for sharing that, Michelle! Thankful we both have bestie husbands. 🙂
You have 5 great things, my order would be 2, 1, 4, 5, 3
Well said! Me and my husband do all of these things listed. It WORKS! And we are best friends too! come visit my blog sometime and search “A Good Marriage” and see what I’ve had to say about it before. Have a blessed day!!!
Lisa
Lisa- I will! Thanks for visiting here!
A. — Your best post to date in my book. Great content and well written! Loved how you wove the theme of friendship between your bests and your hubster! Well done! xxoxo
Thank you Cook! Your words of encouragement mean so much to me!